A Completely New Phase In Life

Today was truly the beginning of a whole entire new chapter of my life. (I am getting teary eyed just writing about it.) 

My little one started kindergarten.  All day. 

  I have spent the last 8 years of my life with my kids by my side.

However, it is here. My years of being home with my cute adorable boys are over.  I was a little sad when Ernie started kindergarten, but I still got to be home with Caleb.  But now, that era is over. That is it; my little companions are now grown up. 

I am proud of myself, I totally held it together until he started to walk into the classroom.   To be honest, I have been so busy lately (I also started working part time, but I will get to that later.) that I hadn't given myself a lot of time to think about all of it too deeply. And then bam, it all hit me like a ton of bricks. And luckily I was wearing sunglasses so I could mask the tears. (And nobody is around as I type this, so I can let them flow more freely :)

Despite my sadness, I am so excited for them.  

Caleb and Ernie looked so cute today.  They were beaming with excitement.

No, he is not saying his prayers :) Caleb has become such a little stinker when it comes to pictures.  He was way too cool for me to get any good ones.  And the sun was in his eyes, so he just couldn't dare open them.

Ah ha, I finally snuck one of him at least looking at me.  Despite the evidence of this photo, he was really excited.  Although, as we were standing there he said, "Mom, my stomach hurts." I was worried he didn't feel well, or that I was a terrible mother and was sending him to his first day of school hungry.

But he said it wasn't any of those things, he said, "mom, I think I am a little nervous." Oh, I could just squeeze him and hold on to him forever.

Here are my three boys.  Ernie was so funny.  He absolutely LOVES school. 

After school Caleb was a lot more cooperative with the picture taking thing.

They both couldn't stop talking about their days.  They both went on and on about their teachers.  And Caleb made a friend named Logan, who is apparently quite the comedian.  We got to hear Caleb re-tell some jokes Logan told him over and over again.  And every time he would bend over in laughter and could hardly contain himself.

So at the end of a successful, but extremely emotional day for me, I have an enormous sense of gratitude.  Gratitude that I didn't take those 8 short years for granted.  That I tried my best to enjoy them and do fun things with them.  That I set aside any career aspirations, and sometimes the desire for a clean house. I wasn't perfect by any means, and I know I could have done more. It wasn't always easy, in fact I don't think it was ever easy.  But, I absolutely loved the past 8 years. 

 I enjoyed every laugh. I enjoyed every picnic and walk to the park.  I loved every rock thrown into the creek, and bug stomped on.  I loved watching them run through the sprinkler and turn play sets into an adventure of some sort. 

And I know, I know they aren't completely grown up.  And my greatest desire as a mother is in 8 years to feel the same way I do today.  Gratitude for the time I have had with my kids, and a sense that I have given all of myself to this "job", and have no regrets.